Gnomenapped

Send help – find the perpetrators!

I was standing in the office, keeping an eye on the goings-on, when – whoosh – bag over my head, and all went dark. I’ve been on this incredible 36-hour journey.

This is all I can see at the moment,

but as they are asleep, I can get you a few clues, based on what I’ve heard, and stuff on their devices.

We flew from Melbourne to Singapore, using Singapore Airlines, on our first A380 flight, which was unremarkable other than for it being quiet and the service excellent. The much longer flight from Singapore to Amsterdam was similarly well catered, although hour by hour (and there were 16 of them), the legs got puffier. Ian disturbed me, even in the cargo bay, with his laughter while watching “The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared”. But it made the flight worthwhile for him at least.

We knew we were in the Netherlands

and the airport staff were very helpful getting us off onto the next stage of the odyssey. The baggage was a little over the 23kg limit (24 & 25), but like the guy in Melbourne, the nice Dutch lady waved us through. So there we were, after a 45 min flight and 50 min bus trip, in Orly Airport checking in the bags.

It’s all automated and the machine in which the bags are placed rejected the overweight bags. No humans here to sweet talk! So the bags had to be opened and 3 kg of stuff removed. No one heard my pleas for rescue, so I remained imprisoned in a dark corner of the suitcase.

All eventually sorted, and after a delayed flight and a further hour on a train from Toulouse to Moissac, we stepped out onto the cobblestoned road. I had a 20 min bone jarring ride up to the gite where we were staying. As we crossed the canal, first real look at a pack of barges in the port – lifted our spirits enormously.

I sat in my dark corner, hungry, while the kidnappers had a four-course meal starting with smoked trout. They say they want to loose weight this trip – some chance!

Anyhow as a slightly stout gnome, I don’t think a few extra kilos looks bad on anyone.

Save me!